Okay, here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, or maybe not … This is an entry ONE YEAR in the making … Why do I say that? … Well, I will reiterate the ONE Brainjuice annual movie review rule: I will only review movies that I have watched in the cinema … However, the difference between this entry and Brainjuice’s Annual Movie Review: 2016 is that I will post my review for each of all the movies I watched in 2017 right about after I watched that movie … So, without much ado, let’s get to it, shall we?
20 January 2017 – Split
M. Night Shyamalan has gone back to his roots … Split is the kind of movie that Shyamalan is born to do … While other stupid Malaysians laughed and giggled as James McAvoy’s character, or characters if you want to look at it that way, shifts from one personality to another, this not-so-stupid Malaysian watched with rapt attention … At least for the most part because I wasn’t paying too much attention to the dialogue as I was with the scenes in the movie, which is funny because Brainjuice always pays attention to the dialogue … Towards the end of the movie, as Kevin Wendell Crumb and Casey face off each other, they both realise that they have one very vital thing in common with each other … They are “broken” … They are victims of abuse … And that’s what gets me about this movie … I am just as “broken” as they are, and like each of them, I have dealt with my issues by turning to the thing that saves me: my faith … I empathize with Kevin because I, too, have a mental condition, but I’m luckier than him because I found my saviour in God … I empathize with Casey, but I have not gone through the kind of abuse that she has, therefore it is not my right to say “So what, everybody goes through shit. Deal with it.” …
So, what do I think of this movie? To be honest, I didn’t want to watch it in the cinema … When the ticket sales assistant said that the movie ticket’s price was between RM18 and RM20, in my head I went, “What the f**k? Do I wanna pay that much for this movie which may or may not be good given that M. Night Shyamalan has directed a few stinkers in the last few years?” … Ticket prices in this country of mine have gone up … I don’t really care about economics or whatever, but I do care about the fact that I don’t make much and the cost of living going up and up … This is another reason why I have not been watching movies at the cinema that much at least for the last couple of years … Besides, as you all may know by now, I spend an arm and a leg and then some for my pay TV provider, which includes the movie channels … So, there is where I thought would watch Split … But in the last couple of years, I have missed out on quite a number of movies because I refused to watch them in the cinema, and then realized after about a year from when they were released that some of those movies were not shown on any of the movie channels … So, there I was, standing at the ticket counter, and I had to make a quick decision … “Should I or should I not watch Split in a movie theatre?” … Then I recalled watching The Visit on one of the movie channels, and it had its shocker moments …
So, I took a chance and paid the premium price for a better seat … Let me just say that though Split is good, I’m not too sure it was worth the RM20 I spent … I could have just waited for it to air on one of the movie channels, but doing so would mean that I’m taking a risk … And now that I have watched the movie, I realise that maybe the RM20 spent wasn’t such a bad thing after all … If and when Split is shown on any of the movie channels, I might just watch it again, if only to pay more attention to the dialogue … As for that supposedly twist ending? I didn’t get it at first, because I watched Unbreakable only once a long time ago, but then it dawned on me as the end credits rolled out … Like, duh, Brainjuice, your brain is not working fast enough …
Final words? James McAvoy should be considered for an Oscar …
12 March 2017 – Kong: Skull Island
Okay, I mentioned in a previous post that I only wanted to watch this movie because I want to see Tom Hiddleston in a role other than Loki … Alright, we’ll get back to Tom Hiddleston in a short bit … Let me talk about the movie first …
Firstly, I am not a King Kong fan … Other than the 2005 movie, I haven’t watched the original King Kong or some other versions that I am not aware of … So, when the movie’s title sequence rolled out, I wondered what kind of a movie this was going to be … And you know what, I can’t decide … I don’t know whether it’s a monster movie, a horror movie, an action movie or even a war movie … Certain scenes remind me of Apocalypse Now, especially when all the helicopters were flying to get to Skull Island … And why did I say it could be a horror movie … Because there were at least a couple of scenes that were so unexpected that they managed to spook me out … For some reason, they didn’t shock the boys sitting next to me … What do you expect? Malaysian audience … They only look forward to scenes that they can laugh at … Unfortunately, the talkative soldier who keeps going on and on about a bed didn’t make them laugh …
Then John Goodman’s character mentions about Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Something Something … So, I looked up Wikipedia and found a reference to the latest version of Godzilla … Okay, I’m not gonna do much more research than what I’ve already done, but is there supposed to be a showdown between Kong and Godzilla? No, not bothered to do a Google search on Kong vs Godzilla … And even if there is, I’m not gonna bother watching it, unless it has a favourite actor/actress/director attached to it …
Well, why do I bring up this Kong/Godzilla connection? Because the ending to me didn’t imply there would be a sequel … But wait, I’m leaving out something here and will get to it towards the end of this post on Kong: Skull Island … So, now let’s go back to the movie as a story, and in my opinion, I don’t think there’s a story … Sure, there’s a plot, but what I mean to say is: what is the point of the story of Kong: Skull Island? … A group of people going to an undiscovered island and find giant monsters and some of them die and in the end, a few that survive leave the island … Do you see a story in this? Because I sure as hell don’t …
However, I see a sort of metaphor that forms part of the story … It is no coincidence that Hiddleston’s character is named Conrad, after Joseph Conrad, who as you all know, wrote Heart of Darkness, which I believe was the premise for Apocalypse Now … So, that is why I couldn’t decide what genre this movie belongs to … In the end, I think it’s safe to say that it belongs in the monster/horror genre … And woe betide me, I walked out of the movie while the closing credits rolled out, because apparently, according to Wikipedia, there’s a post credit scene … Thus, that is where the idea that there is a sequel would follow … Well, like I said, I won’t watch it unless blah blah …
Okay, I said I wanted to watch this movie because of Tom Hiddleston, right? I am an absolute fan of his portrayal of Loki, and because of this, every other movie I’ve watched him in, I only saw Loki … Crimson Peak: Loki with short hair in period costume … Only Lovers Left Alive: Loki as a morose, vintage guitar-collecting vampire … I Saw The Light: Loki with deep Southern twang singing country blues … Goodness, Mr Hiddleston, I do not want you to be a one-trick pony … Then there is Kong: Skull Island … You better thank your lucky stars, Mr Hiddleston, because for the first time, I did not see Loki in the character you portray in this movie … I think it’s the hair … You should stick to your natural hair colour, Mr Hiddleston, at least where Brainjuice is concerned, because when she sees you with black or very dark hair, she only sees Loki and no one else … So, that is my advice for you, Mr Hiddleston … Perhaps, maybe it might be a good thing that Loki comes to his demise in Thor Ragnarok, coming out later this year … The character has become too … “powerful”, I should say, that it has sort of become an accursed role for you, Mr Hiddleston … Remember, look for varied characters as long as they don’t have black or very dark hair …
Final words on Kong: Skull Island? … The star of the movie is Kong … Everyone else is just monster fodder … It has very high entertainment value that people should watch it in 3D/IMAX, but that’s about it …
28 March 2017 – Life
Alright, the thing that attracted me to watch this movie is Jake Gyllenhaal in a sci-fi thriller … I can’t remember where I came across it as this movie just flew under the radar up until about two weeks prior to its release here, when the trailer started to pop up on TV … No, it wasn’t the trailer that made me really want to watch it … I wanted to see Jake Gyllenhaal in a sci-fi thriller because I like Jake Gyllenhaal and I like sci-fi thrillers … I think the last sci-fi thriller I watched Mr Gyllenhaal in was Donnie Darko, and I still don’t think that movie is a sci-fi thriller, despite some people saying it’s a time-travelling movie or whatever …
But, I came away from the movie feeling a little disappointed … For one, Jake Gyllenhaal’s character was not fully developed, in the opinion of a loser hack whackjob of a movie armchair pundit wabbit … The same goes with the other characters, with the exception of Rebecca Ferguson’s character, which I feel is the actual lead of the movie, despite the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal gets first billing …
I am glad this movie isn’t full of so-called shocker moments, as what some might expect from a sci-fi horror movie … However, I am disappointed that I paid for a premium seat only to find that the movie had a lacklustre story and hardly any character development …
In fact, I am beginning to forget much of the movie as I’m writing this four days after watching it, except for the climax and the ending, which I saw coming 70,000 feet away … As the two escape pods are shown going their separate ways, the thought that popped in my head was “What if …”
Final words? Don’t hold your breath if you’re hoping to see Jake Gyllenhaal flexing his incredible acting muscle, as he hardly did any (ouch) in Life … At least Ryan Reynolds get to crack a few jokes … Or did he? See, I can’t even recall his part …
21 April 2017 – Get Out
Okay, this movie got a lot of love online, so definitely my curiosity was piqued … It’s labeled as a horror movie, so I had some trepidation going into the movie … I kept thinking, what sort of horror is Get Out? Slasher? Zombie? Cannibalism? Supernatural? If it was the lattermost, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to see it on a Thursday night at 9pm … But, there I was, at the ticket counter, and finding out that there was a major price difference in the tickets sold for Saturday and for that Thursday night … So, I bought the Thursday night cheap seat … Based on the movies I’ve watched so far this year, I didn’t want to spend so much money on something that may not blow my mind away and my socks to bits …
The room was dark when I entered, saved for the lights illuminating the seat rows and numbers … Ohkay, so they wanted to create the right kind of atmosphere, I thought … The first trailer shown was Amityville: The Awakening … Right, that definitely stirred up my ‘fright’ senses, for lack of a better expression … Then, the movie started … It was a slow burn …
I kept asking, “Where’s the horror? Where’s the horror?” … Except for one sight gag that I’d rather associate with schlocky horror movies, which only made me laugh, Get Out started and almost ended as a psychological thriller for me … But, out of left field, with only about 20 minutes left, the horror hits you in the face like ice cold water on a hot summer’s day … MY MIND WAS BLOWN AWAY AND MY SOCKS BLOWN TO BITS …
This movie addresses racial profiling towards black people in a very subtle, yet effective way … Other than that, I can’t think of anything smart to describe it except that it is one hell of a smart psychological/horror thriller movie … The question that begs to be answered is: At the climax, does Chris do all the gory things and the manner in which he does them because he is in survival mode, or because he’s a black guy and all black guys are predisposed towards violence? Something to think about …
Final words? BEST. MOVIE. SO FAR OF 2017.
30 April 2017 – Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2
I didn’t plan to watch this … Someone in the FB movie group which I’m a member of gave a mixed review of it, so my mind, which at the time was in two, was made up … I was just NOT gonna watch this movie … Until my first brother, my favourite sis-in-law and my favourite nephews and nieces, not accounting the bratty one, showed up on my birthday and said they were going to watch this movie … In my head, I saw an opportunity … The ONLY way I was gonna watch GoTG Vol. 2 was if it was for free, and my brother and his family showed up … So, what else, I told my sis-in-law that I wanted to watch it (BIG UGLY LIAR), knowing that she would never say no, and so there I was, in row F, which is quite in near the screen, watching Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2 … Yes, devious Brainjuice, heheheh *with a smile bordering on evil* …
Storywise, GoTG Vol. 2 doesn’t disappoint … It kept to the formula of what makes the first one pretty good, I guess … But the humour? Except for the rest of the audience, all made up of stupid Malaysians who would laugh at anything half-ass funny, I didn’t laugh at all … Shall I repeat that? I DID NOT LAUGH AT ALL … Except for one tiny scene which I’ve forgotten already, and the fact that Peter chose Pacman as his avatar/destroyer/whatever, I did not find the humour in GoTG Vol. 2 amusing at all … The penis jokes? C’mon on, man, that’s as old as Kurt Russell … Even seeing David Hasselhoff didn’t make me laugh … And seeing Sylvester Stallone? Well, I’d have never thought that Sly would be in a Marvel movie …
There was one scene which made me cry … Yes, tears rolled down these cynical cheeks … It was the scene nearly at the end … I’m sure you can guess which scene I’m talking about …
The biggest disappointment for me was the end credit scenes … James Gunn mentioned somewhere online that there would be, like, five of them … Sure, but WHERE THE F**KING HELL IS THE ONE WHICH WOULD LINK THE GUARDIANS TO AVENGERS INFINITY WAR??? … Thank God I didn’t pay a single sen to watch this movie …
I think it was after watching one of those end credit scenes that I realize that I had to be honest with myself … I am just not a Marvel fan … Those words I said about Marvel in previous posts? I didn’t know the shit I was thinking … What I am is that I’m only a fan of certain Marvel characters … In fact, only two – Iron Man, because it’s Robert Downey Jr, and Loki, because Loki/Tom Hiddleston sorta helped me through a very difficult patch in my life back in 2014 when I first watched Thor The Dark World … Sure, I’ll keep watching Marvel movies, but mostly on my Pay TV Provider, if they ever make their way to the movie channels … But on the big screen, I would be very, very selective … I’m sure it’s not a loss at all to Marvel that I’m not their fan …
Final words? In terms of storylines/plots and plot device/MacGuffin/Infinity Stones/whatever, Marvel is at the top of their game, but that’s about all I could say …
Added 01/01/2018 – Make that THREE Marvel characters … Recently, I managed to watch Doctor Strange on repeat viewing on my Pay TV Provider, and the more I watched it, the more I like it … I think it’s the pacing of the movie … Okay, here’s what I mean by pacing: the story, plot, character, themes, and all other elements, including the VFX, somehow gel together to make a cohesive movie that runs at an even pace for somebody like me who doesn’t read any Marvel comics … Maybe some hardcore comic book fans ranted about it, but like I said in a previous post … Look for it … The dialogue is minimalist: no long expositions and what have you; almost all the characters are likeable (sorry Mordo, I foresee that you are going to be a Marvel villain, perhaps in Avengers Infinity War) and Benedict Cumberbatch makes for a rather handsome Doctor Strange … All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable movie to watch …
Went to pick up my order of The Iron Man by Ted Hughes today and found out that they were having a last minute New Year Sale … This t-shirt was going for a 70% markdown, and I would have bought it in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the fact that one, I’m flat broke, and two, it doesn’t have have my size … I would have liked to have all three: Iron Man, Loki (which I did buy) and Doctor Strange … If only I can see Robert Downey Jr’s face in his Iron Man suit because that’s the only reason I like Iron Man … If it was played by any other actor, I wouldn’t even give it a watch …
30 July 2017 – Dunkirk
As some of you may know, I am not a war movie fan, but I am a Christopher Nolan fan, so went to watch Dunkirk last weekend … I had two options: pay a premium seat for better viewing, or take the cheap seat … I chose the cheap seat … Other than the fact that the speaker on the right was a little too loud for my taste and that my nose was just three inches from the screen (the latter, of course, is a typical Brainjuice exaggeration), I was quite perfectly happy with where I sat …
Then the movie started … I haven’t the foggiest idea what happened at Dunkirk, and am not about to do an online search for it … But I know it is a movie about an event that happened during WWII … (If I don’t know who Winston Churchill is, then can somebody please take a gun and aim it at the head of this sodding git wabbit) … I know it’s a movie about war, or rather, one man’s depiction of what war is …
What exactly is war? I’ve watched Platoon, The Thin Red Line, Saving Private Ryan (at least most of it) and Apocalypse Now Redux (at least the first two hours of it), among the war movies that I can remember watching … Every director/screenwriter has a different interpretation of what war is … And as I watched Dunkirk, one word came up in my head: survival … In fact, I think one of the characters mentions that word …
I remember saying something along the lines of “war is something very defined in terms of masculinity” somewhere on this blog .. To be frank, I don’t know what the f**k I was talking about … I don’t know what war is because I have never been in one, and very likely would never be in one, unless it is for reasons which I don’t think are suitable to be mentioned on this blog … But, it is in a situation like war, or a country in the grips of political upheaval/acts of terrorism that one truly sees how far a person’s humanity is pushed … Everyone for themselves, nobody is going to save you … And all I can say is, when the Army colonel asks the Navy commander what does he see with his binoculars, and Branagh’s character gives a slow smile and says “Home.”, and you see dozens of sailboats or dinghys or whatever rescuing their fellow countrymen at the beaches of Dunkirk, my eyes welled up and my heart was filled with emotion … All the tension that I had felt as I watched the movie progressed up to that point – the lone sailboat making its way to Dunkirk, the lone soldier trying to get off the beach, the Spitfires making their rounds – paid off with that very memorable scene … And I walked out of the room and could hear someone sniffled as well, I thought, “If a movie about something as cold as war could move you to tears, then it has done its job.” …
Final words? Dunkirk may not stand among those other war movies I mentioned earlier, but it certainly has earned its place in the hallowed halls of Humanity …
04 November 2017 – Thor Ragnarok
Okay, first off … I had a really rough month … I was sacked and had to find a job real quick, and it is the most exhausting one I have ever had in my entire life … No choice, ‘coz I have a stupid debt hanging over my head … So, when Thor Ragnarok came around, I wanted to watch pure mindless fun … Underscore mindless … WTF, Brainjuice, I thought you love Thor? … No, I love Loki, but we’ll get to him in a bit …
To be fair … No, I cannot be fair … In the opinion of a two-bit, barmy loser hack, I think Taika Waititi did a rather poor job …
Firstly, the positive thing about Thor Ragnarok … The movie is imbued with the kind of humour that does not border on the ridicule (READ: GoTG Vol 2) in an otherwise a dark story about death and destruction … But you know what? I expected a dark story … Underscore expected … Thor Ragnarok, in the not so humble opinion of a two-bit barmy loser hack of a wabbit, is very tonally different from the first two Thor movies … Though it ties in very nicely in terms of story and narrative with not only the Thor movies but The Avengers (2012), Avengers Age of Ultron and of course featured the post credit scene in Doctor Strange, I feel that that is Ragnarok’s one of two strengths …
Secondly, in a way, Thor’s character arc is complete across the three movies … From a vain, greedy and cruel boy to a man with a sense of humour, courage, humility and forgiveness in his heart … Well, you can say that Thor’s character has fulfilled its arc in the first movie, but though he mourns for Loki, he is angry at him, isn’t? He is angry at Loki in The Avengers (2012) and he is again angry at him in Thor The Dark World … And the anger continues in Thor Ragnarok … Yet, as the movie reaches its end, we see Thor and Loki talking like two long-lost brothers, looking at an uncertain future … That’s forgiveness, isn’t it? Furthermore, Thor loses his hammer and finds his true strength, thus that is the character denouement of Thor … But, who listens to a two-bit barmy loser hack of a wabbit anyway?
That is the only two things I find positive in Thor Ragnarok … The rest I found absolutely appalling …
While there is continuity between the first two movies, I find a certain disconnect in the third installment of Thor … No, it’s not the humour I find distracting, though I wish Thor would continue to speak in Asgardian rhetoric … It’s the fact that a major part of the plot focuses in what I find absolutely a disaster in terms of tone as compared to the first two Thor movies … We get a kind of emotional pathos in Thor and Thor The Dark World, as Thor’s role is the yin to the yang in the role that Loki plays in both … But, we’ll get to Loki in a bit …
Ccome on, for goodness’ sake … Thor Ragnarok – Death and Destruction … And I expected DRAMATIC Death and Destruction, not Hela shooting daggers and the whole legion of Einherjar fall like flies … Surtur’s scenes should have been more … how to say it? Dramatic, I guess, but then who listens to a two-bit barmy loser hack of a wabbit anyway … It should have been been called “Thor and Hulk and to Hel-a with Loki” …
And thus we come to Loki, my most favourite Marvel character, followed by Iron Man … Loki is brilliantly portrayed in Thor and Thor The Dark World, but in Ragnarok, he almost becomes a running gag … The God of Mischief – cunning, manipulative, almost diabolical – becoming a joke? I guess the joke’s on him … Poor Tom Hiddleston … That scene where he tries, yet again, to double cross Thor, feels almost like lip service … Of course we all know what a douchebag double crosser he is, but since the movie wants to fit everything in, I feel that poor Loki becomes just a side character …
No, I don’t know the Norse myth regarding Ragnarok save for just the introduction in Wikipedia and I certainly don’t read the comic books, but when “Asgard is not a place but its people”, I expected that dramatic death and destruction to bring a sense of doomed foreboding that when the Asgardians are finally rescued, I would feel a sense of triumph and rejoice in their continued existence … Ooh, they get rescued in a spaceship … Cool, but not dramatic … At least not dramatic enough for me … Sure, the dialogue between Thor and Loki as they take Jane to Svartalfhiem in Thor The Dark World borders heavily on the rhetoric, but I thought that’s what most movies are about …
The saving grace of this movie is actually Hela, played by the super talented Cate Blanchett … She embodies pure evil … Unfortunately, that evil was not emotionally impactful enough for me …
Final words? Thor Ragnarok just does not move me emotionally … But, the Led Zeppelin song and the movie’s soundtrack is SUPER AWESOME, so much so that it reminds me of Tron Legacy’s music, the OST of which I got online and I’m gonna do the same with Thor Ragnarok’s … Who listens to CD’s these days anyway? Apparently, only two-bit barmy loser hacks like me … And I still love Loki, despite the fact that he almost becomes a running joke …
Anyway, was that Matt Damon? …
04 December 2017 – Murder On The Orient Express
Okay, I am only waiting to watch The Last Jedi … I never intended to watch any other movie, solely because I just quit my physically exhausting job and am trying my best to save every penny I could … But, y’know, a movie addict blah blah …
I watched Murder On The Orient Express solely because I wanted to see Daisy Ridley in a character other than Rey … Yeah, I didn’t see Rey but Mary Debenham … And to think that I read somewhere that JJ Abrams thinks Ridley’s acting is wooden … Shame on you, Mr Abrams … Anyway, back to the movie … I think Kenneth Branagh did a really good job … I’ve read the novel a long time ago … Just thank your lucky stars I never bothered to re-read it just prior to watching the movie … I do know who the murderer is, but I clearly have forgotten their motive and the ending, of course …
Final words? Like I said, I think Mr Branagh did a really good job … The pacing is just right, there are some tense action scenes, and the ending is not what I expected actually … Just thank your lucky stars I have forgotten most of the story …
31 December 2017 – I have cancelled the decoder in my room
Due to circumstances, I do not think I will have much money to watch that many movies at the cinema in 2018 … Yes, to say it’s a great disappointment is an understatement … Anyway, finally got a DVD player from my second brother, but one of those early versions that is bulky, to say the least … I don’t care as long as I can watch all my DVDs … Oh, btw, I cancelled the decoder in my room, again due to circumstances … I haven’t unsubscribed the movie channels … It’s just that I will just have to watch them on a day when my mother is not watching the TV, which is impossible because she really likes her cartoons … I don’t mind the religious programmes, but the cartoons … Oh my God … Have you watched Keluang Man? A pitiful rip-off of Batman … And Upin & Ipin? Really, mother? … For some bloody reason, my mother doesn’t watch Animax, where the cool anime are … And I wouldn’t have minded if she watches more Disney XD as I could watch all the Star Wars cartoons … She prefers to watch Ninjaboy Rantaro, or better known as Nintama Rantarō … No for me … Then, of course cartoons such as Tobot and Robocar Poli or whatever … Seriously, these cartoons drive me up the wall, because I am definitely not their target audience and the fact that over here, they decide that it’s best to dub these cartoons, at least most of them, in BM, rather than use subtitles … I have a thing about seeing movies/tv shows/etc in BM … Let’s just say I don’t like it at all … Would you like to watch a French movie dubbed in English? Exactly …
Anyway, now that I don’t make much money, I have decided that renting movies on that special channel is also out of the question … Kind of a pity actually because I just watched a bit of Nocturnal Animals recently on one of the movie channels and they completely censored the naked parts, so it’s kind of pointless if I were to watch movies on any of the movie channels if they contain nudity and such … Not that I want to see the nudity and the graphic sex and all that, but imagine watching a movie with significant parts missing and you’re actually missing the big picture … Whatever … I have said enough about censorship in this bloody country of mine …
Anyway, have a great year in 2018 … May the Force be with you 🙂 …
NOTE: All movie reviews are written solely based on Brainjuice’s opinions. Unless absolutely necessary, these opinions are formed by Brainjuice alone and not based on the opinions offered by other movie review sites and/or movie critics.
Diary of A Movie Addict 