Brainjuice’s Annual Movie Review: 2018

21 February 2018 – Black Panther & Molly’s Game
So, yesterday I had a full shift, which meant an hour and a half break … Took the opportunity to buy a ticket for Black Panther, but when I reached the cinema, saw the ‘Now Showing’ poster for Molly’s Game and bought a ticket for that instead … I’m a f**king racist … The show was for 2.45pm … I dawdled a bit, then it came to me that I could catch an early screening of Black Panther, so went back to the cinema and got a 10.45am ticket for that … Thank God I’m not an effing racist … And guess what? Wednesday happened to be my day off for the week and it’s ‘Cheap Seat Day’!!!

Black Panther
I never intended to watch this … I think I mentioned this in a previous post … But there were things that tried to convince me I should … Like reading somewhere that Lupita Nyong’o worked out, like, a hundred hours for this movie … I’d like to see her in an action-packed movie … Then there is the fact that I also would like to see Andy Serkis in a role that does not require him to be in a motion-capture suit … Yet, I was undeterred in my decision not to watch, just like I didn’t watch Deadpool and Ant-Man at the cinema and watched them instead on the movie channels … What changed my mind? When I read the headline in The Hollywood Reporter that Black Panther smashed the President’s Day weekend box office … I don’t remember the figure, but I’d imagined the whole cast of Panther smashing the face of that f**king idiot far-right US president and my mind was sold … I gotta watch this movie … So, Black Panther to me became sort of a political statement, and I was right in thinking so, because the very scene that nearly moved me to tears was when King T’Challa delivers his message to the UN … Humanity will not survive if all humans, regardless of skin colour, belief, status, culture, young and old, every single one of us, do not unite … This is a movie that should be watched by everyone on this planet, if only to serve as a reminder that despite our differences, we are all human, which is the basis of Humanity …

Okay, back to the movie … Marvel has again proved itself to be the master of originality when it comes to action set pieces, be they fight scenes, vehicular chase scenes, whatever … Yes, I can see some stuff borrowed from previous Marvel ventures, the most obvious being Wakanda is actually Asgard or Xandar on planet Earth … The tale of revenge and redemption is well told … When it comes to performances, I’m already sold on Daniel Kaluuya, so, sorry Oscar winner Lupita, Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Andy Serkis and whoever else I miss … The only problem I had while watching the story unfold happened to be the same problem I had with Rogue One … Panther felt a little too long on the silver screen and if I watched it on TV, it would be just right … I don’t know why this is, maybe it’s just me … What can you expect from a deranged, irrelevant movie armchair pundit of a wabbit? …

Final words? A Marvel movie that will move anyone, regardless whether they’re Marvel fans or not …

Molly’s Game
Two words: Jessica Chastain … That was why I bought the ticket to this movie first … Aside from that, it’s Aaron Sorkin’s dialogue … I’ve watched The West Wing and The Newsroom, and though the words literally just went over my head, they sounded like real conversation, like something real people talk in real life, and not in a TV show, or in this case, a movie … It’s rhetoric, but hardly rhetorical … Do I make sense? I’m a stupid wabbit anyway, who cares …

The running time for Molly’s Game, I think, is slightly longer than that of Black Panther, but the flawless dialogue kept me glued to the screen … And to Jessica Chastain’s chest … Erm, girl, you sure got a pair of jugs … Anyway, I watched Miss Sloane a while ago and Chastain delivers again in that and Molly’s Game … But, it’s actually Idris Elba’s speech to the federal prosecutors while they are interrogating Molly Bloom that had me clapping out loud … Second best speech and its delivery in the history of moviedom after Lt Col Frank Slade’s defence of Charlie in Scent of a Woman, so much so that Idris Elba is now at the top of my Top Whatever of Hollywood Hunks … No, I really clapped … I think some others in the room might have thought, “What is that crazy lady clapping for?”…

Final words? Molly’s Game moved me on an emotional level, and the scene where Kevin Costner’s character says he will kill the person who hurt his daughter had me in tears … Best Movie. So Far. Of 2018.  … Hang on, Molly’s Game was released in 2017, right? … Oh, well, whatever, I’m a stupid, crazy wabbit anyway, who cares …

10 April 2018 – A Quiet Place & Ready Player One

A Quiet Place
Ohkay, I picked a really bad day to watch a horror movie … or perhaps not … Today was to be the day I hand in my resignation letter and I wanted it to be all good … I ironed the uniforms I was to return … I photocopied my resignation letter … I even wore my work trousers and shoes just in case … But, when I arrived at my soon-to-be former workplace, I was greeted by one of my soon-to-be former co-workers with a salutation that ticked me off … I don’t want to say what it is … Just know that it ticked me off … I had planned to eat there, but after he said it, my desire to eat there vanished with all the hope that I would ever return to that place … So, I decided to go to the cinema instead of handing in the resignation letter and uniforms … My mood was not foul, but it might as well be, not for my sake, but for my soon-to-be-departed co-workers … When I arrived at the cinema, I saw that I had two choices: Ready Player One or A Quiet Place … I saw Starscream and the Iron Giant on the poster of Ready Player One … NO, I did not want them to ruin those for me, so A Quiet Place it was …

Best. Movie. So far. Of 2018. … Sorry, Mr Sorkin … A Quiet Place superseded Molly’s Game in terms of its emotional impact on me … I cried … No, seriously, I cried out loud at the scene where the father drops the axe and says “I love you” to his children before screaming out loud … The moment the axe drops, I knew what the father is going to do … He is going to protect his children and sacrifice himself … I don’t know, maybe it was the situation I was in, but I cried really hard at that scene … A horror movie that made me cry out loud instead of screaming out in terror … Well, I did scream at something … The movie has its schlocky horror moments, but I think they are put in there intentionally as sort of an homage to B-grade horror movies, like, erm, Invasion of The Bodysnatchers??? … Okay, maybe that has a cult following, but I have yet to watch it … As for A Quiet Place, good one, John Krasinski … And your wife, Emily Blunt, for a stellar performance, especially at the part where the mother is in labour pain and the monster is just hovering around the corner …

I think the strength of this movie is that it isn’t trying to be anything else but just an old-fashioned horror movie … Yet, at the centre of it is a story of a family united against an unknown deadly invasion … Well, I suppose the monster is a, urgh, I hate to use this word, ‘trope’ that is so prevalent in a number of modern horror movies … But, you see, I had nightmares after watching The Thing (1982) … In there is a shape-shifting monster … Is that monster a trope? … I think John Carpenter broke ground with The Thing, and so has John Krasinki with A Quiet Place … In A Quiet Place is a monster that is attuned to the slightest sound … The fact that they have to resort to sign language in at least the first 20 minutes of the movie … That we have to witness a fictional world that the hearing-impaired inhabit in real-life really puts this movie at the top of those horror movies considered original in their idea(s) …

My enjoyment of the movie was marred by the call I received (Yes, I talked in the room, but I put my phone on silent, okay) from my soon-to-be former supervisor, so I missed the part on how the mother is able to escape herself and her newborn child from the monster up to the point where the sister is drowning in the silo … The best part for me is the ending … Given the situation that America is in now at the time of writing, I don’t think that bit should be applauded … But you can’t help but feel a sense of gratification over the father’s sacrifice when the mother cocks the rifle, as if she’s giving a one-liner: “Let’s get these bastards” …

Final words? If neither John Krasinski nor Emily Blunt nor both of them win any awards for A Quiet Place, then shame on you, movie awards people …

What? Oh, right … I would hand in the resignation letter right after I watch Ready Player One … Let them stew in their own misery and bitterness a little while longer …

Added 27 April 2018 after reading an exclusive article written by John Krasinki on empireonline.com dated 20 April 2018
“Honestly, one of the most amazing aspects of this process has been working with our incredible sound team. … They even put lapel mics on individual corn stalks to get all these layers of sound.”

And if the sound team for A Quiet Place do not get any awards, f**k you all!!! … Ohkay, too strong … Screw you all!!! …

Ready Player One
Erm, no, I’m not that mean … I mean, I think I should be, just to let them know I’m the kind not to be trampled on, but there was a 30-minute window between A Quiet Place and Ready Player One, so I went back to my former workplace and handed in the resignation letter … I spent the time talking to my former supervisor that I think I missed the first two to five minutes of Ready Player One, but not so much that I missed the opening title …

Ohkay, so it’s not Starscream but Gundam … Robotech, right? I don’t f**king know, my pop culture references right now are a little awry …

However, I was right in deciding to watch this movie after I handed in the resignation letter … There was no bad blood between me and the supervisor, we parted in good terms, and that’s exactly how I wanted to end that brief chapter of my shitty working life … I may not like people’s shit … No, not their big houses or super hot boyfriends, but the shit they lord (is that right?) over other people … NOO, not their big houses and super hot boyfriends, but their baggage … Their garbage baggage … I mean, I’ve got a tonne of that already— … Hang on, hand on, Brainjuice … This is more for your other blog … And so, dear readers, that is my Easter Egg for you 😉 … The URL for my other blog is literally inside this blog … And thus, I begin my review of Ready Player One …

First up, woot! Simon Pegg … I did not know he is in Ready Player One … I haven’t been reading Empire Magazine for a while now, and that is my go-to real-world pop culture reference library … In the cyber-world, my reference for all things Hollywood and beyond is … Well, I have been giving away too much, haven’t I? … You don’t need to know all my shit … This is not the blog you should be reading … Move along, move along … Thank goodness Spielberg decided to keep that pop culture to the very minimum … And instead he gives us John Hughes … I’ve only watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off … And Back To The Future … The Zemeckis Cube, not to mention the Delorean, is really cool … And the reference to Terminator: Judgement Day? There’s the nod for you, James Cameron … In fact, there is more than one reference to T2 … Catch it if you can … That’s my nod to you, Mr Spielberg …

OMG!!! Director Krennic!!! How could I have forgotten about Director Krennic in a movie replete with 80’s pop culture references? Well, anachronistically, I’m not wrong … Rogue One takes place right before Episode IV … And there you have it, ladies and gents, I’m not a gamer, but I am a movier … I have watched dozens and dozens of movies, some of which many times over … And the funny thing is, the most enjoyable part of Ready Player One is not so much the lack of reference to a movie franchise I revere, but the play-up to Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining … I was laughing throughout the scenes concerning The Shining reference … You do not want to be standing in front of the lifts, Aech, for a river of blood is coming your way … And why the hell do you have to end up in room 237??? … I was laughing and laughing as the scenes unfold … I mean, dear readers … If you have been reading this blog to its earliest post, you will find that I hate Stanley Kubrick … That is why I was one of the very few in the room who laughed at the whole The Shining reference …

… Actually, there is more than one reference to Star Wars … I count at least three: the Millennium Falcon, the volcanic fortress reminiscent of Darth Vader’s on Mustafar, and of course Director Krennic himself … But I’m cool with that … They are not so obvious as The Shining, or the fact that Simon Pegg is in this movie and there is a scene reminiscent of MI5: Rogue Nation … Hang on!!! Simon Pegg is in The Force Awakens!!! Now you’ve done it, Mr Spielberg!!! It’s always about you, isn’t it??? Always for the glory, why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!!! … And that’s a nod to your pal, Mr Harrison Ford!!! …

Final words? All in all, Ready Player One is a thoroughly enjoyable movie to watch, and I’m so glad that I was in such a good mood to watch it …

26 April 2018 – Avengers: Infinity War
I racked my brain trying to come up with a review for this for a day and a night, and all I can come up with is …

What? …

A fitting tribute to Loki, though, as that is how I want to remember Loki by …

No final words as I just can’t get over what happens at the end …

Added 18 May 2018
And I thought I should watch it a second time … Well, now I know why I only watch repeat viewings of ONLY Star Wars movies at the cinema … Like I said somewhere, though I find a few Marvel movies very interesting, in the end, I am just not a Marvel fan … It is quite a waste of my RM21 … Peanuts to you, but a lot to me, okay …

The reason I went to watch Avengers: Infinity War a second time was because I thought my review above was just lacking … And you know, that is somewhat how I feel about the movie … I think the Marvel team wanted to go with something different, and although Infinity War is not a total disappointment to me the way Thor Ragnarok is, I felt that the movie as a whole tries to break new ground, but just misses it … 100% for effort, but I walked out of the room the second time feeling nothing … Like what happens at the end of the movie, whatever emotion I may have about the movie just goes poof … I feel nothing, and to Brainjuice, when it comes to movies, that is a bad thing …

I wonder whether this feeling of nothingness stems from the, erm, perception that Thanos is a rather ambivalent character … In some ways, here is where I lost the plot as I do not read the comics … But, on the other hand, Marvel’s series of movies have managed to cater to a rather wide mainstream audience, in the opinion of a wisecracking raccoon wabbit … So, how come Infinity War hasn’t worked on me? Again, back to Thanos … Is he an outright villain, or an anti-hero? Does that matter? Well, I think to an extent it matters, because in the world of superheroes, you want to have an outright villain, the exception being Loki … You get to see his ambivalence right from the beginning … But, with Thanos, where I’m concerned, I had always seen him as this big baddie that was going to destroy the universe … Well, at least half the universe … And yet, you get to see a side of Thanos that is the opposite of what, well, what I believed him to be … Whatever it is, Infinity War has sort of spoiled my appetite for more Avengers movies … The movie does feel like an anti-climax to me … That is just the opinion of a loser hack, two-bit, demented, off-her-rocker wabbit …

Final words? I think that Marvel may have reached its peak and is now on a downhill journey …

17 June 2018 – Ocean’s 8
Well, here I am at the internet cafe, two days later, and time is almost up when I realized that I watched Ocean’s 8 two days ago …

That should give you an idea, me being the consummate movie-goer that I am, of how forgettable Ocean’s 8 is … No doubt, I went to watch it for the stellar all-female cast, none of whom were disappointing … But, to me, the story is so-so … At least, where the development of plot is concerned … To be fair, I think Ocean’s 8 did just as well as its predecessors … The first Ocean franchise were basically a slow burn … In the vast junkyard that is my memory, Ocean’s 11, 12 and 13 are quite forgettable as well, except for the stellar all-male cast … Ocean’s 8 did not surpass this, in the opinion of a two-bit, loser hack crazy f**ker of a wabbit … I sort of expected that Ocean’s 8 would be able to blow my mind, but alas, it did not …

I guess I expected heist movies to be all glam and action, at least when it involved all-women heist crew … Men can go on and just be boring, and everyone will still adore them, but women, we need to get noticed, alright? …

Final words? Did I mention I almost forgot that I watched this movie two days ago? …

27 July 2018 – Mission Impossible: Fallout
What do you do when you’re ahead of the game? Retire? I don’t think Tom Cruise will ever retire … As long as he’s around, the Mission Impossible franchise will stay alive … So, how does one make yet another Mission Impossible movie? Do the impossible? That’s too predictable … Each installment of a franchise has to stay fresh … But, that’s an unspoken rule … So, what the f**k am I trying to say here? Nothing that will be any different from a number of reviews on Mission Impossible: Fallout that are already out there … Not that I’ve read any of them …

So, in order to stay fresh, the franchise has decided to stick with the same writer/director and make Part II of Mission Impossible: Rogue One … I mean, Rogue Nation … And I think that’s how it can stay original, at least for this one installment … Since Rogue Nation’s packed a lot of punches in the action department, for Fallout, I think they’ve dialed up the intrigue instead … I should have seen it coming, in fact I bloody well f**king should have when a character gives the wrong phone, but I was truly surprised when Lark is revealed …

Other than that, I think the most interesting aspect of Mission Impossible: Fallout is that they’ve taken elements from previous installments, and I’m not just talking about recurring characters … Oh no, another impending nuclear attack, and the villains have more or less the same motivations as those in Ghost Protocol … But, the whole execution of Fallout’s plot doesn’t feel like I’m watching the same thing twice … It does feel like a new story, and I guess I have to hand it to McQuarrie to pull this one off …

My favourite part is the scene between Hunt and an old flame … It feels like a proper closure where the two of them are concerned … I sort of get of what happened between Hunt and his former wife in Ghost Protocol, but Fallout gives emotional depth to their departure …

Final words? Let’s see if they can fix Mission Impossible II because it’s the boring one of the lot, and that is not saying much for John Woo …

14 September 2018 – The Predator
I remember watching Predator starring Arnold Schwarzenegger a long time ago … Now my brain, like some brains, is a funny thing … I can recall quite clearly a few movies that I’ve watched many, many moons ago, yet there are movies which I don’t remember much … Predator falls into this lot … I know what happens in the end, and I know how Dutch manages to evade himself from the predator, but that’s about it actually …

I haven’t watched its sequel … Maybe that’s a good thing, I don’t know … I have watched the one with Adrien Brody in it, and I remember that one much clearly than I would have liked to … May not be a good thing …

The thing is, when it comes to the latest installment i.e. The Predator, maybe having watched all or a couple of its successors isn’t such a good thing, imo … As the movie progresses, I get this impression that it is a whole new take on, well, The Predator … This movie, I think, is meant for an audience who have not watched any previous Predator movies, or know at least their cultural references … The Predator takes a fresh perspective, and with that in mind, sort of ruined my enjoyment of it … You see, while watching it, my mind keeps going back to Dutch and his unit, and although I don’t remember much, I know that Dutch’s pals each dies a gory death … That was exactly what I had expected with The Predator, whereas in fact it is a whole new story … It even defines what the Predator is, which isn’t what its nickname is …

Yes, there is a lot of blood and gore ,but I suppose not presented in the way that those who have watched previous Predator movies i.e. me may expect … Most definitely there are tense moments, but because I’m sort of inured to action movies, ahem, tropes (yucks), I was not overly impressed …

On the whole, I think I had expected a horror movie … Why that is, I don’t know, but I remember saying to myself just before the movie started that I hoped the movie would make me jump out of my seat … It did not … Like I said, The Predator is built for a new audience ,and those like me are better left back in the 80s, man …

Final words? Very enjoyable for those who have not watched previous Predator movies …

12 November 2018 – Bohemian Rhapsody
Hmmm, I don’t know how to begin this … erm, review … Particularly because I’m not sure how to talk about one of the greatest rock bands on Earth … My favourite Queen song is We Are The Champions, and I only like it because it’s featured in High Fidelity … Otherwise, I wouldn’t say I’m a Queen fan … But, for some reason, I felt like watching this movie … I’ve only seen Rami Malek in Night At The Museum, and he only has a minor role in that … Apparently Mr Robot is a hit, but I don’t have access to it … My days as a bootleg buyer is over … Then, the other day, I came across a newspaper article which I think is a review of the movie … I didn’t bother reading it, because the headline goes something along the lines of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody is all style but no soul’ …. I’d already made up my mind to watch the movie before I came across that article, so I didn’t want to be swayed by it …

However, the line is stuck in my head … Oh, great, I’m gonna watch something I don’t like … However, I just pressed on and today was my day off, so off I went to watch the movie …

How do you compress a lifetime of events into two hours of meaningful entertainment? Well, you make it like a music video, but with words … I suppose that is the gist of the newspaper article I have avoided reading … At times, I did feel like this movie was trying to touch all aspects of Freddie Mercury’s life, and it quite almost fails … From creating music with his bandmates, to meeting Mary and their love story, to the bit about that controlling Paul, it does feel like Bohemian Rhapsody is trying to fit in everything and, like I said, it quite almost fails … With a larger-than-life like Mercury’s, you can only make it about his performance, and I think Rami Malek did an excellent job with this … I don’t know anything about Freddie Mercury, except for the reason of his untimely demise, and I wonder, as do perhaps some others who don’t know his life story, as to whether Bohemian Rhapsody really captures actual events … After all, it is dramatization …

Nevertheless, I cried at the part where Freddie tells Brian, Roger and Deacy about him having AIDS … I don’t know why I just cried at that part … And I felt what a loss it is to the music world with Freddie Mercury gone … Of course, there are so many entertaining legends who have passed on, but I haven’t watched any of their biopics … Except perhaps … Hang on, I don’t remember … And when they perform at Live Aid, that got my feet moving and my arm swaying in the air … And I sang along in the almost empty cinema to We Are The Champions … Perhaps this isn’t the movie to watch if you’re expecting a gritty look into Freddie Mercury’s coloured history, so no, it may not have soul, but it does have heart …

Final words? Bohemian Rhapsody got me crying and singing, so that’s good, isn’t it? …

26 November 2018 – Ralph Breaks the Internet
Woe betide me … I had to have tea at Starbucks, mainly because I wanted to use the Wi-Fi, but the connection was so damn crappy that I abandoned downloading a new mobile game and made it to the cinema just in time to hear the Mouse whistling his Steamboat Willie tune … But, what happened was that my bladder suddenly kicked its way around while I was watching the movie and had to leave to go to the damn toilet at Vanellope’s song-and-dance routine … I figured that was the best time to interrupt my viewing pleasure since, well, I don’t want to listen to some silly old Disney song anyway … But, I think I missed a crucial moment because when I got back, Vanellope expresses her desire to stay at Slaughter Race and Ralph overhears that … What did I miss? I hope not too much though …

But, having missed that part, did it affect my viewing experience of Ralph Breaks the Internet as a whole? Urrrggghhh, well, like I said, woe betide me, I just had to have f**king tea (with lots of sugar in it) just before the movie, and the need to go the loo overpowered me about half an hour into the movie, that all I could think of was the toilet …

The thing is, I only have one day of break per week, and I can’t use up another break day to re-watch this movie because my job drains everything out of me that I need my break day to just chill and not do anything … So, here goes a review as untainted as possible by stupid bathroom visit …

Wreck-It Ralph is really so good that if any sequel were to be made, it should not try to surpass that greatness … And I think Ralph Breaks the Internet has just done that … I guess some of us have this opinion that sequels should break new ground, in a manner of speaking … But, maybe it shouldn’t … All a sequel needs to do is tell a new story … Is Ralph Breaks the Internet a new story? Yes … Is it told in the same way as the first one? Well, all stories are told in one form only, right? … Most importantly, does it have the same impact as the first one? Errrmmm, well, not for me … Sorry, people at Disney … Hate to break it to you (maybe I shouldn’t use the word ‘break’), but Ralph Breaks the Internet hasn’t made the same impact on me as did Wreck-It Ralph … Yeah, the part where Ralph tells us what friendship means got a tear out of me, but I think if it was another movie, it would have gotten the same tear out of me as well …

Damn that tea … If my brain was really focused on the movie and not my screaming bladder, I could have enjoyed it more … erm, perhaps? Dunno, because I don’t intend to repeat the experience … And so, for me, Ralph Breaks the Internet hasn’t quite broken the old sequel curse … I think if I watch it and haven’t watched Wreck-It Ralph, I might have enjoyed it so much more that I’d be curious to watch Wreck-It Ralph and finding that the second movie actually compliments the first one, so maybe it works in an inverse sort of way, which actually counteracts the sequel curse in a mind-warping sort of way, if I make any sense here …

Frankly speaking, I find the storytelling in Wreck-It Ralph much more compelling (no need to use stuffy words like ‘narrative’ here) … Having said that, Ralph Breaks the Internet should stand on its own and not in the shadow of its predecessor, then that makes it a roaring success … The second movie is a whole new experience and has nothing to do with the first one …

Hmmm, nearly one-third of this review is dedicated to stupid bladder, so final words? Don’t drink and watch movie … Bad final words … Final words? Ralph Breaks the Internet is good, so good that if you haven’t watched Wreck-It Ralph, that would have been better …

31 January 2019
To round up things, this year has been a rather sombre affair with regards to my relationship to the movies … I don’t think it’s some fugacious film fug … Well, I’d recently watched Infinity War on TV and I found that I enjoyed it more on the small screen … I was able to appreciate the movie as a whole rather than the sum of its parts – the dramatic scenes, the action scenes, and the, erm, humour, I suppose … I also managed to watch A Quiet Place on TV and yeah, that scene where the father drops the axe and says “I love you” to his children still gets me …

Maybe it’s come to a point where I’d just rather watch movies on TV … I won’t say it’s because I’m growing older … Older people than me still enjoy going to the movies … It’s just me, really … What this means is that Brainjuice’s Annual Movie Review is … Hmmm, well, I’d still go the the cinema but don’t expect sensational reviews … In fact, don’t expect anything … Just hope that 2019 proves to be a good year for movies …

NOTE: All movie reviews are written solely based on Brainjuice’s opinions. Unless absolutely necessary, these opinions are formed by Brainjuice alone and not based on the opinions offered by other movie review sites and/or movie critics, unless mentioned.

 

Brainjuice’s Annual Movie Review: 2017

Okay, here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, or maybe not … This is an entry ONE YEAR in the making … Why do I say that? …  Well, I will reiterate the ONE Brainjuice annual movie review rule: I will only review movies that I have watched in the cinema … However, the difference between this entry and Brainjuice’s Annual Movie Review: 2016 is that I will post my review for each of all the movies I watched in 2017 right about after I watched that movie … So, without much ado, let’s get to it, shall we?

20 January 2017 – Split
M. Night Shyamalan has gone back to his roots … Split is the kind of movie that Shyamalan is born to do … While other stupid Malaysians laughed and giggled as James McAvoy’s character, or characters if you want to look at it that way, shifts from one personality to another, this not-so-stupid Malaysian watched with rapt attention … At least for the most part because I wasn’t paying too much attention to the dialogue as I was with the scenes in the movie, which is funny because Brainjuice always pays attention to the dialogue … Towards the end of the movie, as Kevin Wendell Crumb and Casey face off each other, they both realise that they have one very vital thing in common with each other … They are “broken” … They are victims of abuse … And that’s what gets me about this movie … I am just as “broken” as they are, and like each of them, I have dealt with my issues by turning to the thing that saves me: my faith … I empathize with Kevin because I, too, have a mental condition, but I’m luckier than him because I found my saviour in God … I empathize with Casey, but I have  not gone through the kind of abuse that she has, therefore it is not my right to say “So what, everybody goes through shit. Deal with it.” …

So, what do I think of this movie? To be honest, I didn’t want to watch it in the cinema … When the ticket sales assistant said that the movie ticket’s price was between RM18 and RM20, in my head I went, “What the f**k? Do I wanna pay that much for this movie which may or may not be good given that M. Night Shyamalan has directed a few stinkers in the last few years?” … Ticket prices in this country of mine have gone up … I don’t really care about economics or whatever, but I do care about the fact that I don’t make much and the cost of living going up and up … This is another reason why I have not been watching movies at the cinema that much at least for the last couple of years … Besides, as you all may know by now, I spend an arm and a leg and then some for my pay TV provider, which includes the movie channels … So, there is where I thought would watch Split … But in the last couple of years, I have missed out on quite a number of movies because I refused to watch them in the cinema, and then realized after about a year from when they were released that some of those movies were not shown on any of the movie channels … So, there I was, standing at the ticket counter, and I had to make a quick decision … “Should I or should I not watch Split in a movie theatre?” … Then I recalled watching The Visit on one of the movie channels, and it had its shocker moments …

So, I took a chance and paid the premium price for a better seat … Let me just say that though Split is good, I’m not too sure it was worth the RM20 I spent … I could have just waited for it to air on one of the movie channels, but doing so would mean that I’m taking a risk  … And now that I have watched the movie, I realise that maybe the RM20 spent wasn’t such a bad thing after all … If and when Split is shown on any of the movie channels, I might just watch it again, if only to pay more attention to the dialogue … As for that supposedly twist ending? I didn’t get it at first, because I watched Unbreakable only once a long time ago, but then it dawned on me as the end credits rolled out … Like, duh, Brainjuice, your brain is not working fast enough …

Final words? James McAvoy should be considered for an Oscar …

12 March 2017 – Kong: Skull Island
Okay, I mentioned in a previous post that I only wanted to watch this movie because I want to see Tom Hiddleston in a role other than Loki … Alright, we’ll get back to Tom Hiddleston in a short bit … Let me talk about the movie first …

Firstly, I am not a King Kong fan … Other than the 2005 movie, I haven’t watched the original King Kong or some other versions that I am not aware of … So, when the movie’s title sequence rolled out, I wondered what kind of a movie this was going to be … And you know what, I can’t decide … I don’t know whether it’s a monster movie, a horror movie, an action movie or even a war movie … Certain scenes remind me of Apocalypse Now, especially when all the helicopters were flying to get to Skull Island … And why did I say it could be a horror movie … Because there were at least a couple of scenes that were so unexpected that they managed to spook me out … For some reason, they didn’t shock the boys sitting next to me … What do you expect? Malaysian audience … They only look forward to scenes that they can laugh at … Unfortunately, the talkative soldier who keeps going on and on about a bed didn’t make them laugh …

Then John Goodman’s character mentions about Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Something Something … So, I looked up Wikipedia and found a reference to the latest version of Godzilla … Okay, I’m not gonna do much more research than what I’ve already done, but is there supposed to be a showdown between Kong and Godzilla? No, not bothered to do a Google search on Kong vs Godzilla … And even if there is, I’m not gonna bother watching it, unless it has a favourite actor/actress/director attached to it …

Well, why do I bring up this Kong/Godzilla connection? Because the ending to me didn’t imply there would be a sequel … But wait, I’m leaving out something here and will get to it towards the end of this post on Kong: Skull Island … So, now let’s go back to the movie as a story, and in my opinion, I don’t think there’s a story … Sure, there’s a plot, but what I mean to say is: what is the point of the story of Kong: Skull Island? … A group of people going to an undiscovered island and find giant monsters and some of them die and in the end, a few that survive leave the island … Do you see a story in this? Because I sure as hell don’t …

However, I see a sort of metaphor that forms part of the story … It is no coincidence that Hiddleston’s character is named Conrad, after Joseph Conrad, who as you all know, wrote Heart of Darkness, which I believe was the premise for Apocalypse Now … So, that is why I couldn’t decide what genre this movie belongs to … In the end, I think it’s safe to say that it belongs in the monster/horror genre … And woe betide me, I walked out of the movie while the closing credits rolled out, because apparently, according to Wikipedia, there’s a post credit scene … Thus, that is where the idea that there is a sequel would follow … Well, like I said, I won’t watch it unless blah blah …

Okay, I said I wanted to watch this movie because of Tom Hiddleston, right? I am an absolute fan of his portrayal of Loki, and because of this, every other movie I’ve watched him in, I only saw Loki … Crimson Peak: Loki with short hair in period costume … Only Lovers Left Alive: Loki as a morose, vintage guitar-collecting vampire … I Saw The Light: Loki with deep Southern twang singing country blues … Goodness, Mr Hiddleston, I do not want you to be a one-trick pony … Then there is Kong: Skull Island … You better thank your lucky stars, Mr Hiddleston, because for the first time, I did not see Loki in the character you portray in this movie … I think it’s the hair … You should stick to your natural hair colour, Mr Hiddleston, at least where Brainjuice is concerned, because when she sees you with black or very dark hair, she only sees Loki and no one else … So, that is my advice for you, Mr Hiddleston … Perhaps, maybe it might be a good thing that Loki comes to his demise in Thor Ragnarok, coming out later this year … The character has become too … “powerful”, I should say, that it has sort of become an accursed role for you, Mr Hiddleston … Remember, look for varied characters as long as they don’t have black or very dark hair …

Final words on Kong: Skull Island? … The star of the movie is Kong … Everyone else is just monster fodder … It has very high entertainment value that people should watch it in 3D/IMAX, but that’s about it …

28 March 2017 – Life
Alright, the thing that attracted me to watch this movie is Jake Gyllenhaal in a sci-fi thriller … I can’t remember where I came across it as this movie just flew under the radar up until about two weeks prior to its release here, when the trailer started to pop up on TV … No, it wasn’t the trailer that made me really want to watch it … I wanted to see Jake Gyllenhaal in a sci-fi thriller because I like Jake Gyllenhaal and I like sci-fi thrillers … I think the last sci-fi thriller I watched Mr Gyllenhaal in was Donnie Darko, and I still don’t think that movie is a sci-fi thriller, despite some people saying it’s a time-travelling movie or whatever …

But, I came away from the movie feeling a little disappointed … For one, Jake Gyllenhaal’s character was not fully developed, in the opinion of a loser hack whackjob of a movie armchair pundit wabbit … The same goes with the other characters, with the exception of Rebecca Ferguson’s character, which I feel is the actual lead of the movie, despite the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal gets first billing …

I am glad this movie isn’t full of so-called shocker moments, as what some might expect from a sci-fi horror movie … However, I am disappointed that I paid for a premium seat only to find that the movie had a lacklustre story and hardly any character development …

In fact, I am beginning to forget much of the movie as I’m writing this four days after watching it, except for the climax and the ending, which I saw coming 70,000 feet away … As the two escape pods are shown going their separate ways, the thought that popped in my head was “What if …”

Final words? Don’t hold your breath if you’re hoping to see Jake Gyllenhaal flexing his incredible acting muscle, as he hardly did any (ouch) in Life … At least Ryan Reynolds get to crack a few jokes … Or did he? See, I can’t even recall his part …

21 April 2017 – Get Out
Okay, this movie got a lot of love online, so definitely my curiosity was piqued … It’s labeled as a horror movie, so I had some trepidation going into the movie … I kept thinking, what sort of horror is Get Out? Slasher? Zombie? Cannibalism? Supernatural? If it was the lattermost, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to see it on a Thursday night at 9pm … But, there I was, at the ticket counter, and finding out that there was a major price difference in the tickets sold for Saturday and for that Thursday night … So, I bought the Thursday night cheap seat … Based on the movies I’ve watched so far this year, I didn’t want to spend so much money on something that may not blow my mind away and my socks to bits …

The room was dark when I entered, saved for the lights illuminating the seat rows and numbers … Ohkay, so they wanted to create the right kind of atmosphere, I thought … The first trailer shown was Amityville: The Awakening … Right, that definitely stirred up my ‘fright’ senses, for lack of a better expression … Then, the movie started … It was a slow burn …

I kept asking, “Where’s the horror? Where’s the horror?” … Except for one sight gag that I’d rather associate with schlocky horror movies, which only made me laugh, Get Out started and almost ended as a psychological thriller for me … But, out of left field, with only about 20 minutes left, the horror hits you in the face like ice cold water on a hot summer’s day … MY MIND WAS BLOWN AWAY AND MY SOCKS BLOWN TO BITS …

This movie addresses racial profiling towards black people in a very subtle, yet effective way … Other than that, I can’t think of anything smart to describe it except that it is one hell of a smart psychological/horror thriller movie … The question that begs to be answered is: At the climax, does Chris do all the gory things and the manner in which he does them because he is in survival mode, or because he’s a black guy and all black guys are predisposed towards violence? Something to think about …

Final words? BEST. MOVIE. SO FAR OF 2017.

30 April 2017 – Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2
I didn’t plan to watch this … Someone in the FB movie group which I’m a member of gave a mixed review of it, so my mind, which at the time was in two, was made up … I was just NOT gonna watch this movie … Until my first brother, my favourite sis-in-law and my favourite nephews and nieces, not accounting the bratty one, showed up on my birthday and said they were going to watch this movie … In my head, I saw an opportunity … The ONLY way I was gonna watch GoTG Vol. 2 was if it was for free, and my brother and his family showed up … So, what else, I told my sis-in-law that I wanted to watch it (BIG UGLY LIAR), knowing that she would never say no, and so there I was, in row F, which is quite in near the screen, watching Guardians of The Galaxy Vol. 2 … Yes, devious Brainjuice, heheheh *with a smile bordering on evil* …

Storywise, GoTG Vol. 2 doesn’t disappoint … It kept to the formula of what makes the first one pretty good, I guess … But the humour? Except for the rest of the audience, all made up of stupid Malaysians who would laugh at anything half-ass funny, I didn’t laugh at all … Shall I repeat that? I DID NOT LAUGH AT ALL … Except for one tiny scene which I’ve forgotten already, and the fact that Peter chose Pacman as his avatar/destroyer/whatever, I did not find the humour in GoTG Vol. 2 amusing at all … The penis jokes? C’mon on, man, that’s as old as Kurt Russell … Even seeing David Hasselhoff didn’t make me laugh … And seeing Sylvester Stallone? Well, I’d have never thought that Sly would be in a Marvel movie …

There was one scene which made me cry … Yes, tears rolled down these cynical cheeks … It was the scene nearly at the end … I’m sure you can guess which scene I’m talking about …

The biggest disappointment for me was the end credit scenes … James Gunn mentioned somewhere online that there would be, like, five of them … Sure, but WHERE THE F**KING HELL IS THE ONE WHICH WOULD LINK THE GUARDIANS TO AVENGERS INFINITY WAR??? … Thank God I didn’t pay a single sen to watch this movie …

I think it was after watching one of those end credit scenes that I realize that I had to be honest with myself … I am just not a Marvel fan … Those words I said about Marvel in previous posts? I didn’t know the shit I was thinking … What I am is that I’m only a fan of certain Marvel characters … In fact, only two – Iron Man, because it’s Robert Downey Jr, and Loki, because Loki/Tom Hiddleston sorta helped me through a very difficult patch in my life back in 2014 when I first watched Thor The Dark World … Sure, I’ll keep watching Marvel movies, but mostly on my Pay TV Provider, if they ever make their way to the movie channels … But on the big screen, I would be very, very selective … I’m sure it’s not a loss at all to Marvel that I’m not their fan …

Final words? In terms of storylines/plots and plot device/MacGuffin/Infinity Stones/whatever, Marvel is at the top of their game, but that’s about all I could say …

Added 01/01/2018 – Make that THREE Marvel characters … Recently, I managed to watch Doctor Strange on repeat viewing on my Pay TV Provider, and the more I watched it, the more I like it … I think it’s the pacing of the movie … Okay, here’s what I mean by pacing: the story, plot, character, themes, and all other elements, including the VFX, somehow gel together to make a cohesive movie that runs at an even pace for somebody like me who doesn’t read any Marvel comics … Maybe some hardcore comic book fans ranted about it, but like I said in a previous post … Look for it … The dialogue is minimalist: no long expositions and what have you; almost all the characters are likeable (sorry Mordo, I foresee that you are going to be a Marvel villain, perhaps in Avengers Infinity War) and Benedict Cumberbatch makes for a rather handsome Doctor Strange … All in all, a thoroughly enjoyable movie to watch …

Went to pick up my order of The Iron Man by Ted Hughes today and found out that they were having a last minute New Year Sale … This t-shirt was going for a 70% markdown, and I would have bought it in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the fact that one, I’m flat broke, and two, it doesn’t have have my size … I would have liked to have all three: Iron Man, Loki (which I did buy) and Doctor Strange … If only I can see Robert Downey Jr’s face in his Iron Man suit because that’s the only reason I like Iron Man … If it was played by any other actor, I wouldn’t even give it a watch …

30 July 2017 – Dunkirk
As some of you may know, I am not a war movie fan, but I am a Christopher Nolan fan, so went to watch Dunkirk last weekend … I had two options: pay a premium seat for better viewing, or take the cheap seat … I chose the cheap seat … Other than the fact that the speaker on the right was a little too loud for my taste and that my nose was just three inches from the screen (the latter, of course, is a typical Brainjuice exaggeration), I was quite perfectly happy with where  I sat …

Then the movie started … I haven’t the foggiest idea what happened at Dunkirk, and am not about to do an online search for it … But I know it is a movie about an event that happened during WWII … (If I don’t know who Winston Churchill is, then can somebody please take a gun and aim it at the head of this sodding git wabbit) … I know it’s a movie about war, or rather, one man’s depiction of what war is …

What exactly is war? I’ve watched Platoon, The Thin Red Line, Saving Private Ryan (at least most of it) and Apocalypse Now Redux (at least the first two hours of it), among the war movies that I can remember watching … Every director/screenwriter has a different interpretation of what war is … And as I watched Dunkirk, one word came up in my head: survival … In fact, I think one of the characters mentions that word …

I remember saying something along the lines of “war is something very defined in terms of masculinity” somewhere on this blog .. To be frank, I don’t know what the f**k I was talking about … I don’t know what war is because I have never been in one, and very likely would never be in one, unless it is for reasons which I don’t think are suitable to be mentioned on this blog … But, it is in a situation like war, or a country in the grips of political upheaval/acts of terrorism that one truly sees how far a person’s humanity is pushed … Everyone for themselves, nobody is going to save you … And all I can say is, when the Army colonel asks the Navy commander what does he see with his binoculars, and Branagh’s character gives a slow smile and says “Home.”, and you see dozens of sailboats or dinghys or whatever rescuing their fellow countrymen at the beaches of Dunkirk, my eyes welled up and my heart was filled with emotion … All the tension that I had felt as I watched the movie progressed up to that point – the lone sailboat making its way to Dunkirk, the lone soldier trying to get off the beach, the Spitfires making their rounds – paid off with that very memorable scene … And I walked out of the room and could hear someone sniffled as well, I thought, “If a movie about something as cold as war could move you to tears, then it has done its job.” …

Final words? Dunkirk may not stand among those other war movies I mentioned earlier, but it certainly has earned its place in the hallowed halls of Humanity …

04 November 2017 – Thor Ragnarok
Okay, first off … I had a really rough month … I was sacked and had to find a job real quick, and it is the most exhausting one I have ever had in my entire life … No choice, ‘coz I have a stupid debt hanging over my head … So, when Thor Ragnarok came around, I wanted to watch pure mindless fun … Underscore mindless … WTF, Brainjuice, I thought you love Thor? … No, I love Loki, but we’ll get to him in a bit …

To be fair … No, I cannot be fair … In the opinion of a two-bit, barmy loser hack, I think Taika Waititi did a rather poor job …

Firstly, the positive thing about Thor Ragnarok … The movie is imbued with the kind of humour that does not border on the ridicule (READ: GoTG Vol 2) in an otherwise a dark story about death and destruction … But you know what? I expected a dark story … Underscore expected … Thor Ragnarok, in the not so humble opinion of a two-bit barmy loser hack of a wabbit, is very tonally different from the first two Thor movies … Though it ties in very nicely in terms of story and narrative with not only the Thor movies but The Avengers (2012), Avengers Age of Ultron and of course featured the post credit scene in Doctor Strange, I feel that that is Ragnarok’s one of two strengths …

Secondly, in a way, Thor’s character arc is complete across the three movies … From a vain, greedy and cruel boy to a man with a sense of humour, courage, humility and forgiveness in his heart … Well, you can say that Thor’s character has fulfilled its arc in the first movie, but though he mourns for Loki, he is angry at him, isn’t? He is angry at Loki in The Avengers (2012) and he is again angry at him in Thor The Dark World … And the anger continues in Thor Ragnarok … Yet, as the movie reaches its end, we see Thor and Loki talking like two long-lost brothers, looking at an uncertain future … That’s forgiveness, isn’t it?  Furthermore, Thor loses his hammer and finds his true strength, thus that is the character denouement of Thor … But, who listens to a two-bit barmy loser hack of a wabbit anyway?

That is the only two things I find positive in Thor Ragnarok … The rest I found absolutely appalling …

While there is continuity between the first two movies, I find a certain disconnect in the third installment of Thor … No, it’s not the humour I find distracting, though I wish Thor would continue to speak in Asgardian rhetoric … It’s the fact that a major part of the plot focuses in what I find absolutely a disaster in terms of tone as compared to the first two Thor movies … We get a kind of emotional pathos in Thor and Thor The Dark World, as Thor’s role is the yin to the yang in the role that Loki plays in both … But, we’ll get to Loki in a bit …

Ccome on, for goodness’ sake … Thor Ragnarok – Death and Destruction … And I expected DRAMATIC Death and Destruction, not Hela shooting daggers and the whole legion of Einherjar fall like flies … Surtur’s scenes should have been more … how to say it? Dramatic, I guess, but then who listens to a two-bit barmy loser hack of a wabbit anyway … It should have been been called “Thor and Hulk and to Hel-a with Loki” …

And thus we come to Loki, my most favourite Marvel character, followed by Iron Man … Loki is brilliantly portrayed in Thor and Thor The Dark World, but in Ragnarok, he almost becomes a running gag … The God of Mischief – cunning, manipulative, almost diabolical – becoming a joke? I guess the joke’s on him … Poor Tom Hiddleston … That scene where he tries, yet again, to double cross Thor, feels almost like lip service … Of course we all know what a douchebag double crosser he is, but since the movie wants to fit everything in, I feel that poor Loki becomes just a side character …

No, I don’t know the Norse myth regarding Ragnarok save for just the introduction in Wikipedia and I certainly don’t read the comic books, but when “Asgard is not a place but its people”, I expected that dramatic death and destruction to bring a sense of doomed foreboding that when the Asgardians are finally rescued, I would feel a sense of triumph and rejoice in their continued existence … Ooh, they get rescued in a spaceship … Cool, but not dramatic … At least not dramatic enough for me … Sure, the dialogue between Thor and Loki as they take Jane to Svartalfhiem in Thor The Dark World borders heavily on the rhetoric, but I thought that’s what most movies are about …

The saving grace of this movie is actually Hela, played by the super talented Cate Blanchett … She embodies pure evil … Unfortunately, that evil was not emotionally impactful enough for me …

Final words? Thor Ragnarok just does not move me emotionally … But, the Led Zeppelin song and the movie’s soundtrack is SUPER AWESOME, so much so that it reminds me of Tron Legacy’s music, the OST of which I got online and I’m gonna do the same with Thor Ragnarok’s … Who listens to CD’s these days anyway? Apparently, only two-bit barmy loser hacks like me … And I still love Loki, despite the fact that he almost becomes a running joke …

Anyway, was that Matt Damon? …

04 December 2017 – Murder On The Orient Express
Okay, I am only waiting to watch The Last Jedi … I never intended to watch any other movie, solely because I just quit my physically exhausting job and am trying my best to save every penny I could … But, y’know, a movie addict blah blah …

I watched Murder On The Orient Express solely because I wanted to see Daisy Ridley in a character other than Rey … Yeah, I didn’t see Rey but Mary Debenham … And to think that I read somewhere that JJ Abrams thinks Ridley’s acting is wooden … Shame on you, Mr Abrams … Anyway, back to the movie … I think Kenneth Branagh did a really good job … I’ve read the novel a long time ago … Just thank your lucky stars I never bothered to re-read it just prior to watching the movie … I do know who the murderer is, but I clearly have forgotten their motive and the ending, of course …

Final words? Like I said, I think Mr Branagh did a really good job … The pacing is just right, there are some tense action scenes, and the ending is not what I expected actually … Just thank your lucky stars I have forgotten most of the story …

31 December 2017 – I have cancelled the decoder in my room
Due to circumstances, I do not think I will have much money to watch that many movies at the cinema in 2018 … Yes, to say it’s a great disappointment is an understatement … Anyway, finally got a DVD player from my second brother, but one of those early versions that is bulky, to say the least … I don’t care as long as I can watch all my DVDs … Oh, btw, I cancelled the decoder in my room, again due to circumstances … I haven’t unsubscribed the movie channels … It’s just that I will just have to watch them on a day when my mother is not watching the TV, which is impossible because she really likes her cartoons … I don’t mind the religious programmes, but the cartoons … Oh my God … Have you watched Keluang Man? A pitiful rip-off of Batman … And Upin & Ipin? Really, mother? …  For some bloody reason, my mother doesn’t watch Animax, where the cool anime are … And I wouldn’t have minded if she watches more Disney XD as I could watch all the Star Wars cartoons … She prefers to watch Ninjaboy Rantaro, or better known as Nintama Rantarō … No for me … Then, of course cartoons such as Tobot and Robocar Poli or whatever … Seriously, these cartoons drive me up the wall, because I am definitely not their target audience and the fact that over here, they decide that it’s best to dub these cartoons, at least most of them, in BM, rather than use subtitles … I have a thing about seeing movies/tv shows/etc in BM … Let’s just say I don’t like it at all … Would you like to watch a French movie dubbed in English? Exactly …

Anyway, now that I don’t make much money, I have decided that renting movies on that special channel is also out of the question … Kind of a pity actually because I just watched a bit of Nocturnal Animals recently on one of the movie channels and they completely censored the naked parts, so it’s kind of pointless if I were to watch movies on any of the movie channels if they contain nudity and such … Not that I want to see the nudity and the graphic sex and all that, but imagine watching a movie with significant parts missing and you’re actually missing the big picture … Whatever … I have said enough about censorship in this bloody country of mine …

Anyway, have a great year in 2018 … May the Force be with you 🙂 …

NOTE: All movie reviews are written solely based on Brainjuice’s opinions. Unless absolutely necessary, these opinions are formed by Brainjuice alone and not based on the opinions offered by other movie review sites and/or movie critics.

 

 

 

The Last Jedi

Due to circumstances, I could only watch The Last Jedi twice instead of the usual three for a Star Wars freak like me … Btw, I watched Rogue One: A Star Wars story on TV a couple of times recently, and I think it is way better watched on the small screen … It did not feel long to me and the pacing is just right … My second brother complained about it having too many characters, but I think not … Maybe it should have been a made-for-TV movie instead of released on the silver screen … Just a thought …

Moving along …

The Last Jedi is definitely better than The Force Awakens … I’m not saying that The Force Awakens is not good, I’m just saying that The Last Jedi expands the original trilogy even further … Both The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi make references to the original, or as I rather like to call it, the first trilogy … Yeah, yeah, yeah, there is that pesky thing called Episodes I, II and III … Damn you, George Lucas … And look what you did to the first trilogy, you bearded pompous prick! … Okay, just kidding … My apologies, Mr Lucas … Apology not accepted, stupid Brainjuice … *And Brainjuice dies tragically in a Sith choke hold* …

Okay, okay, back to what I was saying … The Last Jedi expands the first trilogy even further … Certain scenes and lines, in a way, are similar to some in the first trilogy …  Unfortunately, because I only watched the movie twice, the only example that comes off the top of my head is when the Resistance face the First Order’s armada on the planet Scrait … The way it is set up, it reminds me of the skirmish on the planet Hoth … Almost similar, but not quite …

However, two scenes stand above the rest for me … They are to do with the late Carrie Fisher … Forgive me for being sentimental and nostalgic, but I did grow up watching her as Princess Leia, so that iconic and beloved character in movie history will forever be burned on this Star Wars freak’s brain …

The first scene is when Vice Admiral Holdo says to General Leia Organa: “May the Force be with you always.” … I just almost bawled my eyes out the first and second time around … The second scene is when Luke Skywalker, Jedi legend, meets Leia on the mineral planet and the music as Luke says goodbye to Leia in the Ewok village plays in the background … “No one is ever really gone.” … If you didn’t bawl your eyes out at this symbolic scene, I don’t know what you are … And you have the gall to call yourselves Star Wars fans? … We now know what is Luke’s fate, but somehow, that final meeting between Luke and Leia foretold … Never mind …

Nevertheless, I think the most profound scene in The Last Jedi is when the spirit of Yoda burns down the first Jedi temple with a strike of lightning … “Failure is the greatest teacher.” … or something like that … On 1st April of this year, my siblings and I attended a ‘kenduri doa selamat’ … Don’t ask me what that means, but it is a gathering for a relative who was about to go away on a religious pilgrimage … As my brother, the one who collects Star Wars collectibles, and I lined up at the buffet table, we talked about the then upcoming Star Wars movie … He said that Rey will turn to the Dark Side … I asked how did he know … He said, “Adalah …”, which more or less translates to “I have my sources” … But, there was something in my heart, something like hope … “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” … Now, as a Star Wars freak, I have tried as much as possible to dodge any and all information pertaining to The Last Jedi, but you know, when you surf online, you cannot escape from headlines like “The Last Jedi will be 150 minutes long”, and I say “F**K!” … But, I dodged all those online articles like how the Millennium Falcon dodges laser fire from TIE fighters, and today I was rewarded with the knowledge that answers a question I raised in a previous post … “Who is Rey?” … She is a nobody who is a self-taught Jedi … I had likened her to Anakin Skywalker, but now I suppose I can let out a sigh of relief … So, I guess the April fool’s joke’s on you, brother … Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is: Do not ever read anything about an upcoming installation of a movie franchise you love most, for it will raise your expectations and disappoint you in the end … Listen and learn from your failure, young Padawan … Hmm, perhaps that is Hubris speaking …

Final words? … What final words? I love The Last Jedi as much as The Force Awakens … Will buy the DVD, even if it means breaking bank …

Added 14/12/2017 – But of course I’m going to add some things … What? You think I was just going to sit around and chew on the scenery? … This isn’t Venice, for God’s sake …

Now, I mentioned in a previous post that there are no plot holes in The Force Awakens … Hmm, well, I can’t say the same for The Last Jedi …

Firstly, that scene where Poe Dameron greets Rey … It’s like they’re getting to know each other for the first time … Are both of them not in the same room when R2-D2 and BB-8 piece together the map that leads to Luke’s whereabouts? This scene makes no sense to me other than the possibility that Poe Dameron could become a love interest for Rey …

Secondly, The Last Jedi still does not explain how Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber ends up in Maz Kanata’s hands … In the scene where Luke is about to strike Ben Solo/Kylo Ren in his sleep, we could see that he is holding the lightsaber that he constructed himself after his father’s lightsaber goes missing in Cloud City … But, we also see Ben protecting himself with a blue light lightsaber which could only have been Anakin Skywalker’s … So, how in Jabba’s name, does Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber end up with Maz Kanata?

Thirdly, and the most crucial of all, the First Order’s fleet manages to track down the escaping Resistance’s ships through lightspeed … This apparently is new technology and it forms the crux of the movie’s plot … But, please, explain to me, how did Darth Vader’s ship manage to track down the Tantive IV after it jumped into lightspeed? Of course, I don’t remember the opening scene of Star Wars: A New Hope for certain since I haven’t watched it for a long time and I refuse to buy a copy of it after George Lucas mangled it, thank you very much, but I’m fairly certain that the Tantive IV jumps into lightspeed fairly quickly before Darth Vader has any chance of placing a beacon of sorts in it, having watched Rogue One recently … Okay, just read Empire’s review … You’ve answered this question, thank you very much …

Well, that’s it … Have a nice weekend …